Defenses

(written mid 2004)

I bear the brunt of your defenses;
the thrash,
the blow,
your heart’s retreats…
Your words trample me to sour wine.
You didn’t want me anyway
you say,
you contest…
You expound on my failures,
invent crimes,
and stay safely above my love
till I can’t tell which is real…
Is it true affection hidden beneath fear?
Or contempt softened with guilt?
Regardless,
no love of mine can reach you,
soothe you,
or win your approval.
I’m just the rogue who dared to scale
the stone walls of your surface smile,
wishing to revel in the treasures within,
the heart I love,
the mind I cherish…
but it’s better to swim in the moat beyond
than to live hunted by guards
in your castle.