Useless
Ever feel like you're sitting in a lawn-chair, reading the funnies, while your close friend is next to you wrestling for his life with some 5-headed anaconda from hell that spits fire and has a poisonous scorpion tail?
You know, I wish the things we dealt with in life were monstors and villians. I think that's why I always liked spy flicks, sci-fi, super-hero type movies and all that. I just really want to live in a world where the things that hurt us are tangible enemies we can just plow into with our fists.
So I sit here, trying to focus on good things in life, trying to just wait it out, while this dear friend of mine is getting his face burned off by the mutant anaconda. I feel as useless as if I were reading the funnies and sitting like a lump while he struggles with this vicious foe. If he hollers out for some sort of weapon, I'll give him whatever I've got, but I can't actually fight the beast for him and I just hate that. What really sucks, is I lead it to him. It apparently trailed me in some unmarked Buick station-wagon right to his secret hide-out.
So here I sit.... waiting... hoping that if I stay close by there will be some diminsional shift allowing the monstors molocules to solidify on my plane of existance so I can slice him with my steely claws. Or maybe, there will be some advice pop to mind, from my many years of anaconda-fighting experience, that will actually be of help. Or maybe I can toss him a weapon. I guess, if nothing else, there's moral support.
Yeah.... so here I sit in this lawn-chair. I got me these Sunday funnies to read, and if I get desperate I might even read the real news or the arts and entertainment section. Yeah, I'm totally useless, but I sit here and gesture an occasional thumbs up to my buddy.
"Lookin good! Way to show that snakey bastard!"
*sigh* yeah... real helpful, aint I? Hey... whoever cut that coupon out took the punchline off of funky Winkerbean. Where is it? Anybody want to read the sports section? I'm not really into sports. Ooooo... did you see that?
"Nice Shot there, handling him like a pro!"
You know, I wish the things we dealt with in life were monstors and villians. I think that's why I always liked spy flicks, sci-fi, super-hero type movies and all that. I just really want to live in a world where the things that hurt us are tangible enemies we can just plow into with our fists.
So I sit here, trying to focus on good things in life, trying to just wait it out, while this dear friend of mine is getting his face burned off by the mutant anaconda. I feel as useless as if I were reading the funnies and sitting like a lump while he struggles with this vicious foe. If he hollers out for some sort of weapon, I'll give him whatever I've got, but I can't actually fight the beast for him and I just hate that. What really sucks, is I lead it to him. It apparently trailed me in some unmarked Buick station-wagon right to his secret hide-out.
So here I sit.... waiting... hoping that if I stay close by there will be some diminsional shift allowing the monstors molocules to solidify on my plane of existance so I can slice him with my steely claws. Or maybe, there will be some advice pop to mind, from my many years of anaconda-fighting experience, that will actually be of help. Or maybe I can toss him a weapon. I guess, if nothing else, there's moral support.
Yeah.... so here I sit in this lawn-chair. I got me these Sunday funnies to read, and if I get desperate I might even read the real news or the arts and entertainment section. Yeah, I'm totally useless, but I sit here and gesture an occasional thumbs up to my buddy.
"Lookin good! Way to show that snakey bastard!"
*sigh* yeah... real helpful, aint I? Hey... whoever cut that coupon out took the punchline off of funky Winkerbean. Where is it? Anybody want to read the sports section? I'm not really into sports. Ooooo... did you see that?
"Nice Shot there, handling him like a pro!"
posted by TwistedNoggin at 4:42 PM
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