Saturday, March 12, 2005

Audience

The book is shut before I speak. I see it in half your faces.
Woman, am I your competition?
Have you judged the ease of my life with a quick measure of my hips?
You, intellectual, do I look too young and sweet to volley theories with you?
Would you dismiss my voice before it sounded?
I am a blonde – am I a bimbo?
Or is it reading Feynman that stirs my pulse?
I am not obese – so have my days been easy?
Or have I been used and never loved?
Or can you guess I was the ugly one in high school -
The one you would have taunted and teased?
My hair is long, my eyes softly blue – am I a romantic?
Or do I spew my primal rage against a heavy bag
Slugging deep into the leather and sawdust
Until the rafters of the barn shake with my bottomless fury.
May body has taken it’s blows and given me a few of it’s own.
My body scars and bleeds and reels in its toxic confusion,
showing more age inside than your grey-haired grandma.
My mind is a constant chaotic explosion of thought, curiosity, epiphany and vision.
My heart a blackened, beaten thing that still would gather its charred remains-
Still turn itself over and find a soft spot to offer up without reserve.
I offer my words, an open book.
But you stop at the cover I didn’t design.
You will see the illusions, the projections of your own eyes.
I hope you like what you see,
Because it reflects only you;
No one sees me.

(I was thinking about writing something I could read aloud, but instead I could only think of why I hate to read aloud - hate my words to be filtered through people's image of me. So... that's where this came from)

4 Comments:

Blogger The Grey Ghost said...

Catfight!

*gets popcorn*

Kidding, of course. I love these lines: "slugging deep into the leather and sawdust/until the rafters shake with my bottomless fury"

5:36 PM  
Blogger TwistedNoggin said...

This Kat can give you no catfights. I don't pull hair or scratch.
I slug
I slug damn hard

:)
Good thing I avoid getting into fights. (try to be a good girl- if only I had villians to take out my rage on - like the Carbide poem)

5:38 PM  
Blogger The Grey Ghost said...

"I shovel well--"

"--I shovel very well."

:)

5:47 PM  
Blogger TwistedNoggin said...

Funny you should say that. I use that quote quite often.
I LOVED that movie. :)
AND Tom Waits was in it breifly.

Speaking of Waits: Best moment in Robots = when they played Tom Waits (darn right!)
That man has been spewing genius since the 60's. I've been listening to him since the 80's, and I will adore him till I die!

5:50 PM  

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