You know how, in the movies, when someone's been drugged/possessed/hypnotized and suddenly they come out of it they start to look around and remember who they are? That's how I feel just very recently. Is it the sun? Is it an end to seasonal depression mixed with some sort of hormonal confusion? I look back and see the past few months through a crazy-haze, wondering why I couldn't break through it and just be me. It felt like being drugged, and that isn't far from the truth. I suppose when our brain chemistry goes out of whack (be it of it's own accord or by chemical influence) it's always going to feel like a bad trip.

The sun is shining. I want to bounce around to Greenday, go camping, play at the forestry, take road-trips... I want to relax and enjoy life. I want to roll down a hillside like we did as kids. I want to hang out on the beach with my sister, watching the girls (Tori and Stazi) play in the water. I want to spread my arms and spin.

Next winter, I'm setting up one of those timer-set full-spectrum lights in my bedroom. I'm going to get exersize regularly and never get so nuts again.

A huge thank you to those of my friends who stuck with me while I whined and fussed.

I want to take a road trip and stay in a hotel, just to jump on the beds.
I want to travel under a fake name, something totally absurd.

My name is Ivanna.... Ivanna eetalott. Vere are de steaks and cheesecake? Zis iz my friend, Gimi Coco. Please bring her your finest double-death-by chocolate. :P