Communication Breakdown
I wish that, before she passed away, My mother had admitted to being an alien, thus explaining my complete inability to understand the human race.
One of my main traits that makes me such a freak in this world is that I feel the need to understand everyone and everything. What a releif it would be to understand the big question of why my ways seems so alien to everyone else.
I've spent a lifetime in love with words. You'd think that in 30 years I would have found the right ones to help people understand me a tiny bit. I should have just been the mysterious type. Then I could pretend that no one ever getting me was just part of my master plan, not my biggest failure.
I may have been the ugliest, weirdest, most unpopular girl in school, but I have a little bit of brain power, no fear of honesty, and I sincerely care about others (which helps me empahise). Those three gifts should be the perfect tools with which to understand others and communicate to others, but apparently I am a failure at using those tools.
I'm not just the kid who was cut out of the group pictures in the yearbook, I'm also the one who will never understand humanity, becuase humanity hates truth, understanding, and all the things I obsess over.
I am just a little freak.
But that's ok.
I can't make anyone understand me with my words. But, I have a knack for sci-fi and action and escapist genre stuff. Maybe I'll never know what it's like to be understood, but I can hopefully make people happy for however long it takes them to read the fiction I'm going to write. Then there will have been a point to all of this. Then I will have helped give back what Orson Scott Card and countless others have given me... a doorway into a world that doesn't hurt or confuse. That's all I really want out of life. If I die lonely and poor, I just hope I've done something worthwile before that happens. I don't want to change the world. I just want to make a few people smile and know I did that right, that I did something right.
One of my main traits that makes me such a freak in this world is that I feel the need to understand everyone and everything. What a releif it would be to understand the big question of why my ways seems so alien to everyone else.
I've spent a lifetime in love with words. You'd think that in 30 years I would have found the right ones to help people understand me a tiny bit. I should have just been the mysterious type. Then I could pretend that no one ever getting me was just part of my master plan, not my biggest failure.
I may have been the ugliest, weirdest, most unpopular girl in school, but I have a little bit of brain power, no fear of honesty, and I sincerely care about others (which helps me empahise). Those three gifts should be the perfect tools with which to understand others and communicate to others, but apparently I am a failure at using those tools.
I'm not just the kid who was cut out of the group pictures in the yearbook, I'm also the one who will never understand humanity, becuase humanity hates truth, understanding, and all the things I obsess over.
I am just a little freak.
But that's ok.
I can't make anyone understand me with my words. But, I have a knack for sci-fi and action and escapist genre stuff. Maybe I'll never know what it's like to be understood, but I can hopefully make people happy for however long it takes them to read the fiction I'm going to write. Then there will have been a point to all of this. Then I will have helped give back what Orson Scott Card and countless others have given me... a doorway into a world that doesn't hurt or confuse. That's all I really want out of life. If I die lonely and poor, I just hope I've done something worthwile before that happens. I don't want to change the world. I just want to make a few people smile and know I did that right, that I did something right.
posted by TwistedNoggin at 9:28 PM
4 Comments:
I don't think we always know the impact we have on other people, or that even they know it themselves, until sometime later. People aren't responsible, they're not good with feedback, they don't always look us in the eye and say, "Thank you, I understand, I can actually DO something with that." Right or wrong, good or bad, we do make impressions, we do get through even if credit (or blame) isn’t given. I’m sure you’ve already done the worthwhile & will go on to do more, this blog is evidence of that.
I'd give anything to understand everything. I'd give even more to be understood again.
"If you stand under a giraffe while it pees, then you'll understand why you shouldn't do it."
You want fame?
Well fame costs
and right here is where you start paying
in sweat.
I bet I actually got that quote right. :P I loved that show. That Leroy guy could really dance.
Ditto. Maybe I should start writing poetry and sci-fi more often.
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