short in the neural wiring?
My mom's laugh box was broken. Seriously. She had a great sense of humor but could not laugh (never in her life). If something was really funny she'd gasp and choke and on occassion tear up, but she couldn't laugh.
My Crying box has a broken wire in it. When I'm deeply hurt, I cannot cry. This is partly a result of years of self-training in school. I trained myself not to cry when attacked or taunted, because that would let the attacker win and often encourage them to attack again, like bleeding up-current from a shark. When I feel struck to the core, all I can do is shut down. I just sit there broken. That's all I can do.
But then, when I am sitting alone in my office or car or whatever, it lines up that broken wire and that built-up current goes zapping through. My crying capaciter dumps all that saved up grief out through my gushing eyeballs. Once people are around, it shuts off again.
I guess I wait until my attacker is gone before I can bleed, bandage wounds, and set the broken bones, even when the "attacker" is just careless with its teeth, not a preditor.
At least I can laugh plenty.
If I could have kids, what wire would they lack?
Perhaps one would be incapable of sneezing, the other of singing.
My Crying box has a broken wire in it. When I'm deeply hurt, I cannot cry. This is partly a result of years of self-training in school. I trained myself not to cry when attacked or taunted, because that would let the attacker win and often encourage them to attack again, like bleeding up-current from a shark. When I feel struck to the core, all I can do is shut down. I just sit there broken. That's all I can do.
But then, when I am sitting alone in my office or car or whatever, it lines up that broken wire and that built-up current goes zapping through. My crying capaciter dumps all that saved up grief out through my gushing eyeballs. Once people are around, it shuts off again.
I guess I wait until my attacker is gone before I can bleed, bandage wounds, and set the broken bones, even when the "attacker" is just careless with its teeth, not a preditor.
At least I can laugh plenty.
If I could have kids, what wire would they lack?
Perhaps one would be incapable of sneezing, the other of singing.
posted by TwistedNoggin at 2:32 PM
2 Comments:
Many of us, especially us nerds, weirdos, and ugly ducklings, have sob stories from school. It's no wonder things like columbine happen. Of course, if I'd gone phsyco I would not have shot up the school. I would have calculated who were the 10% most cruel and killed them while isolated, just to up the kindness ratio of local humanity a smidge. ok, maybe not.
still, I'd rather have difficulty crying than difficulty laughing.
Hat's off to pavlov. I probably drool when I hear steak sizzle. mmmm steak. :)
" even when the "attacker" is just careless with its teeth, not a preditor."
I love that! Hehe that is such an awesome way of putting it: Careless with it's teeth. I seem to always go for guys with sharp teeth who are accidentally careless with them! Or maybe my skin is just too thin. Anyway great metaphor.
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