Writing Addict
Addicted to writing, to reading, to the smell of ink on paper and the click of keys.
Thirsty for pressed pulp portals to someplace in the mind, yet outside of my own thoughts, I let everything fall to shambles... living for my next fix.
Only one way to make a living when you are hooked on a drug. Ya got to become a dealer.
Fuck the legal profession. Somebody buy me a friggin laptop and some time... If I had time, I know I could write something worthwhile. If I could concentrate at work, I could leave sooner and have more time.
Damn the cycles.
There is no mannah from heavan. I've worked like a dog all my life and don't ask for help. Surely I can make this happen. I used to shiver in my apartment where I couldn't pay the gas bills that kept my heat up to 57degrees. I ate peanut butter with no bread... and I smiled. Why? Cause I'm one very determined amazon freak. Nearly 6 feet of will, a carbide backbone, and an inability to give up.
My arch-enemies, ADD and my own feeble human state, are all that really hold me back. Surely I can whip that into submission... for once.
I have stood toe to toe with a factory worker twice my size and twice as mean as the other men, and stood my ground till he backed down. I didn't wimp out then. Why start now.
_______________________________
A side note... men have the luxery of deciding which men they can take and which they can't. I'm very strong for a woman and I have good reach, but I know most men could kick my tail if I gave them a chance. But you see, they all can so I have only two choices... be afraid of them all or none of them. I lived in fear of my first husband. I'll live in fear of no person again.
Besides, turns out I got one hell of a mean jab.
It's funny.... Sometimes I'm so shy I want to dissapear, unable to speak to people. I do have fear socially because I am a social idiot. I don't fear speaking my mind, though, or taking on any challenge out there. I've learned I can do whatever I have to just because I can look back and see the things I did when they simply had to be done.
Right now, work has to be done. Time to shut up.
Thirsty for pressed pulp portals to someplace in the mind, yet outside of my own thoughts, I let everything fall to shambles... living for my next fix.
Only one way to make a living when you are hooked on a drug. Ya got to become a dealer.
Fuck the legal profession. Somebody buy me a friggin laptop and some time... If I had time, I know I could write something worthwhile. If I could concentrate at work, I could leave sooner and have more time.
Damn the cycles.
There is no mannah from heavan. I've worked like a dog all my life and don't ask for help. Surely I can make this happen. I used to shiver in my apartment where I couldn't pay the gas bills that kept my heat up to 57degrees. I ate peanut butter with no bread... and I smiled. Why? Cause I'm one very determined amazon freak. Nearly 6 feet of will, a carbide backbone, and an inability to give up.
My arch-enemies, ADD and my own feeble human state, are all that really hold me back. Surely I can whip that into submission... for once.
I have stood toe to toe with a factory worker twice my size and twice as mean as the other men, and stood my ground till he backed down. I didn't wimp out then. Why start now.
_______________________________
A side note... men have the luxery of deciding which men they can take and which they can't. I'm very strong for a woman and I have good reach, but I know most men could kick my tail if I gave them a chance. But you see, they all can so I have only two choices... be afraid of them all or none of them. I lived in fear of my first husband. I'll live in fear of no person again.
Besides, turns out I got one hell of a mean jab.
It's funny.... Sometimes I'm so shy I want to dissapear, unable to speak to people. I do have fear socially because I am a social idiot. I don't fear speaking my mind, though, or taking on any challenge out there. I've learned I can do whatever I have to just because I can look back and see the things I did when they simply had to be done.
Right now, work has to be done. Time to shut up.
posted by TwistedNoggin at 9:23 PM
1 Comments:
Thanks for that- while reading i would slip out of realization that this is the work of a woman- until the obvious details would come up- and i don't want that to sound chauvinistic- it's like midlife bukowski without the chauvinism- but not militantly feministic either-
i identify with your passion to produce a worthy product- a job sucks it out- the transition between the two is too long no matter the time or distance-
work should not have to be a job- sustenance should not have to come from devoting your time to another person's cause-
where are the artist's vouchers?
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