Selfish

Jealousy is a foul thing. I should be so thrilled for my friends who are going to Wizard World Chicago (aka NerdFest2005), and really I am. I'm sincerely excited for them. For one group, it's a special ritual (that I hope they keep going even after they're married with rugrats). For Ray, well he will be showing off his truly excellent drawing sample-pages (I'll be anxiously awaiting word on how that goes). Of course, Ray and Jeremy are going together (the dynamic duo), and with them their wonderful wives.
I'm so very happy for all of them. Happy happy happy. I'm not just saying that. I really am happy for them, no matter how crappy I feel about being stuck behind.
I just wish I could shake the selfish, jealous, wimpy need to be going myself. I kept telling myself I'd accepted I wasn't going, but then I kept checking the webpage to see what names had been added, eyeballing the cost of a ticket for just one day...
Well, soon it will be over and that jumpy me inside my head will quit trying to figure out a way to get me there this year, and be forced to just plan for next year.
Shame on me for thinking about myself and how badly I want to go.

But, on a happier note, I really am excited for all the guys. I'm sure they'll have a blast. :)