Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Flirting With Disaster (predators)

Some women spin men into thread,
drawn taut about their every curve,
To weave of them mere decoration
for their vain and empty lives.
They feast until they have their fill
and leave only bones of men behind.

Some men would will a woman
into her counter-self…
choose the face and demolish the soul
as if the person were
mere rags upon the doll.

Some of us are only fools and fodder
for the predators among us.
What self loathing fuels this folly?
What fear of love leads us to chase
the safely out-of-reach?

To honor love one must leave
abusers of affection behind.
To love honor one must not consort
with the those who would feed on hearts.


What I find especially odd is this: When I see women using men for a free dinner or easy attention or a quick ego boost or the famous 'special' sort of 'friend' (ie --- in a glass), they are always these cute, bubbly, normal looking chicks. They have the fad jewelry and the sweet clothes and are adorable little flirts. If you made a line-up of women-photos, 9 out of 10 men would go straight for this type. You wont see me hanging out with these chicks. I can't stand them and they always think I'm weird. (I am weird. I think men are people and I am honest and have interests and hobbies). There's a male version of the same person, but I rarely get close enough to them to have to hear them brag about their habits, so I don't have to deal with that so directly.
The question is this... why do we tolerate these people - even as friends? Why is this socially exceptable? I could never call a person like that my friend, and it saddens me to see how many women fit the role. I'm sure as many men do too.

[edit] A friend misconstrued this as being about a specific girl, someone I have never even met. I can understand why, since it was posted shortly after a discussion of her, but no. I never met the girl and, honestly, I find that men often impute foul motives on women who are completely innocent, so I would never make foolish assumptions on a stranger.
We had talked about women like those above, though, and I started thinking back... the things I've heard women say... it's just astounding. Anyway, I don't even picture any one specific person when I read this now that it's done. I picture general flocks of girls, stereotypes that fit my experience. Maybe a few quotes from women I knew.
You should know better than to ever suspect I'd jump to such conclusions about a stranger, though. That is the antithesis of me. Of all my many flaws and weaknesses, that is not one.

8 Comments:

Blogger The Grey Ghost said...

Because they're people, too; and because we can't always choose who we gravitate toward. Despite such a flaw, these people can also have interests, passions, and aspects of their personality that we share.

6:54 PM  
Blogger TwistedNoggin said...

We all hurt people without intention at times, but the 'people' who consider it acceptable to use others hearts like TP aren't even people. They are parasites. I would never knowingly consort with such a person.
Of course, it's hard to tell who might be these kinds of 'people', unless you're stuck in the bathroom with one while she tells you things like "Nah, I don't like him anymore, but I haven't been to (insert restaurant name here) in a long time and I can't afford to take myself there" or "No, I only like him as a friend, but don't tell him that" or "He's not my type but he's ok for a booty call now and then."
The first and third of those are direct quotes and second just heresay. They never show that attitude in front of the man, though there are clues. They just say stuff in front of the girls cause they assume we all think it's fine to use men like that. Maybe that's normal. I sure hope not.

10:31 AM  
Blogger The Grey Ghost said...

I sure hope not, too. If it is, than every woman on planet Earth can go to Hell.

I'm not disagreeing that some people act like parasites, and I'm certainly not disagreeing that these people probably shouldn't be consorted with at all. But you can't say they're not people, because they are. Everyone has problems, and problems affect behavior. Insecurity (or self-centeredness) are most likely the culprits here, and probably the result of past negative experiences. Of course, they need to better themselves, and everyone has the capacity to do that - but it's very easy to look at people who behave negatively as if they've always been that way, and will always be that way - when the odds really don't sit in favor of that. Really, some of these women just need to find a man who isn't going to take their shit, and then they'll learn.

And my point regarding how we gravitate toward these people still stands. No one is 100% negative or undesirable - someone is always going to be drawn to someone else. And what's interesting is that sometimes, we're drawn to others out of our own insecurity - the very same insecurity we can attribute to parasite, preying mantis, head-biting bitches.

12:38 PM  
Blogger Anonymous Poet said...

OK. Next time some girl entices me to buy her dinner or a drink, just for the dinner or drink, I will give you her address, and you can punch her out for me.

Girl power!

11:07 PM  
Blogger Andy N. said...

Oh yeah - it's quite 'normal', and it gauls me too to see such blatant "playahs"... and it's been part of 'the game' for ages - users and those content being used. What is even sadder is that people persist in a behavior only as long as they are getting some benefit from it, even if it is mere psycological stroking in 'being wanted', even in the shallowest of senses, e.g.: for their money, or sports car, or hooters or cute ass. What is even sadder is the lengths they go to to maintain the image, because without it, they're lost.

"Hey! I'm gonna spread the news,
that if it feels this good being used, then just keep on using me,
until you use me up."

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1179692.aspx

I don't have this problem, for at least three reasons:

1) I'm a nerd.

2) I don't socialize in any 'normal' sense of being part of the 'meat market'.

3) I haven't the resources with which to wine or dine or impress anyone with what I "have"; and the few who do call me 'friend', do so for what I am.

btw - good writing! :-)

5:42 PM  
Blogger Ray said...

It's often lost on the other sex when they're being played all the while being readily apparent to those of the same sex as the player. Of course, sharing the bathroom when she's talking about how she's using him for a free meal doesn't hurt.

Of course, I think some guys know they're being played, but the lure of beauty and the satisfaction that goes with having it along with you make many of them delude themselves. It's one of the great weaknesses of manhood in general.

4:24 PM  
Blogger Spider in a Mason Jar said...

People change, and as long as folks live, there is still hope for them.

The "not even people" statement, though-- that's extreme. Statements as such are the type of ideals that fuel the fires of prejudice in the lesser extreme, and slavery and/or genocide in the greater. Words are strong, be careful with blanket statements like that.

9:24 PM  
Blogger TwistedNoggin said...

I suppose you're right, SiaMJ. I I guess I get a little too aggrivated with these traits in people. I just don't understand how anyone can willingly use people like that. I expect to have my toes stepped on, suffer people changing their minds, etc... but when they set out to use and deceive someone... it just seems inhuman to me. Maybe they can learn. I hope so. But, I think they'd learn that it's wrong a lost faster if it wasn't so socially acceptable.

I used to be far more patient with people, I guess. I beleived they could learn and many would grow, if given some good influences, etc... Somewhere in the past year I seem to have just given up on humanity for the most part. I've met SO many people in my time and found so few who were genuinely kind. We all screw up, but some at least try.

Anyway... I need to stop being so negative. Sure, I still think that users need to be flogged, but there was a time I'd be too busy writing about the beauty in life to type about the users.

9:37 AM  

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