If this were a video game I could restart the game, pick a different character to play, something… but it’s life and I’m stuck being the idiot I am, paying for the mistakes I’ve already made.
I can be an intelligent person at times. Sometimes, however, I just wonder how I could dig myself into such horrid holes that could so easily have been avoided.

My mom once fussed at me for being too careful with my money, always saving and never spending. My coworkers (years ago) teased me for being the tightest penny-pincher they’d ever met. When did I get to be so careless?

I’ve dug myself into a really shitty hole this time. If I don’t ask for help, it will get worse very, very quickly. If I do ask for help, I’ll hate myself even more because I know I deserve no help.

Excuse me for a moment. I think I need to go puke.