like tonic for the weary

Isn’t it weird?

If you feel a hole inside you,
Trying to fill it up makes it worse
But giving away actually helps.
It’s a cheesy and clichéd concept,
But true, nonetheless.

I was feeling dark the other day,
From stress, job stress, fatigue, and
(pardon my forthrightness) PMS.

Nothing made it better. I was really floundering.
So, I started thinking about people around me.
They each have their own shadows to contend with.
I wished I could reach out, somehow,
and give them some sort of whatever I needed too.

So, I took a bunch of stupid-lame pictures that I have saved on my computer,
Just random things that I see beauty in,
And I sent them all in an email to my friends.

And you say “how gay… totally brokeback”, neh?

Yeah, maybe so, and especially weird coming from me – the one who never forwards what I call “cheesy crap”, the friendship chain-letters dotted with pictures of angels or pixies or women hugging. I appreciate the motivation behind people sending them, but I’m really not into the emails.
But, the reaching out in some tiny positive way made me feel better.
I hope it made some of the receivers feel good, too (but I’m guessing that most reacted more with a big “huh?”).

Then, I added some email addresses of people I never really talk to any more (and one I’ve never talked to, but that’s a long story).
I heard back from one chick I haven’t seen in AGES. That was great.
-Hi Elisa!!!
At least one person really liked my retarded little email.
-Thanks, Josh. :)

So… just sending it (ie, reaching out to give something to others, as worthless as the gift might be) made me feel better.
Then, a couple people reached back to me.
Even better.

Thanks to those of you who replied. You’re good people.
Sorry I had nothing more worthy of sending. :)

I guess sometimes you just gotta say "eh, screw the walls" and drop pretty pictures from airplanes until you feel you've surmounted them.
Yeah... it's totally weird (even for me). Yes, it's cheesy and corny and all that. But hey... who really cares? :D