Channeling the past

The first song I learned with the band was “Don’t think twice” by Susan Tedeschi. I sang that constantly during 2004. I used to feel that song SO much that it was hard to sing it without crying. To sing it with the band now, though, I actually have to try to put myself back in time, so I can remember how I felt back then and channel that into the song.

When one of the guys brought a new tune to practice Sunday, it really struck me the moment I heard it. It was a sweet, melancholy, beautiful tune. All I had for it, at first, was ooooooo’s, but I really liked singing to it. It needed something soft, but a little mournful, so I threw in some very generic “hearbreak” themed lyrics. Trying to add to that, I of course pulled from the last romantic-type heartbreak in my past. Again… channeling the past to sing now.

The weird thing is, that if it were not so distant in the past, I don’t think I could use it for singing. If I was still emotional about it, I’d care too much about saying it all, saying it clearly, etc… etc… and not be able to just stand back, grab a couple vague thoughts from my ancient-history grab bag, and toss them in so casually.

Maybe it’s true… maybe it can come in handy to have some bad days in your past (so long as they are far enough in the past).

There are things far closer to my heart that actually still hurt me, (friends I miss, my own failings and weaknesses, aggravation over screwed-up social norms, etc…) but this was distant enough that I can simplify it into lyrics, now. If you feel too intensely about something, it is nearly impossible to put it into words, especially words simple enough to lend themselves to use as lyrics. (especially when you are not used to ever writing lyrics)

Plus, the things that do nag at my brain these days are less common topics (like I said, friends I miss, etc… etc…) and romantic heartbreak is a more accessible theme for listeners. Some times it’s nice to use a general theme that people can relate to. I usually prefer to do things a little differently, but there is something to be said for embracing a little common ground with people, I guess.

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On a different note, thank goodness I'm with a man, now, that inspires me only in happy melodies. I'm such a lucky woman. :D
I guess I'm actually fortunate that my ex treated me the way he did, in a round-about way. If he hadn't turned so completely cold towards me then, I would have never known what it is like to be as happy as I am now. It is amazing to be with someone honorable and loving and understanding who appreciates you... -I'd better shut up before I start gushing about how awesome my man is again. He hates that. (but it's true!)

:)