Thursday, January 18, 2007

No time to wallow

I did everything I could think of to help me get up in the mornings. I go to bed early. I set my very loud alarm across the room so I can't hit snooze in a sleepy haze, etc... But, I was so tired I slept right through it. It must have been going off for about an hour before it woke me up. When I realized what time it was, I had instant dry heaves from panic. I showered and got ready for work in about 10 minutes. Barely had time to get wet. Ran out the door and got in the car and called the office while on the way. I knew I'd likely be fired when I got there, but I had to try. Sure enough, I got fired. I can't blame them.

I'll be in the hospital one night and one day next week for sleep apnea/narcolepsy testing.

In some ways, maybe I'll be better off. I've never in my life worked with such difficult people. One of the ladies from the escrow department (sort of shares an office with the title plant where I worked) asked me just this morning how I could stand to work with them. She said it was like preschool over there and that people were getting mighty sick of the way they behaved. Still, I didn't really care all that much about that. I just wanted to do my job, and to do it well. And, as difficult as some of my coworkers may have been, I respected them as workers for what they did professionally.

I intend to start job hunting right away. I need to type up my resume today and start looking online for leads. Then, I need to spend the rest of the week going out and dropping off my resume at places. I'll probably lose my house anyway, but I need to keep going and get myself a new job.

Right now, however, I'm going to bed. My first impulse was to go drink myself silly somewhere, but that's unwise. I can't afford to do things the stupid way. So, I'll take a nap and will have to get up and get right back to working on salvaging my worthless life. No time to wallow.


Blogger HatGirl said...

Message from a mutual friend. I echo every sentiment:

For those of you who dont know her well, Kat is very strong. Its great to hear her message to keep going. All of us experience hardship and the ability to get up and keep going-especially after feeling like life is worthless-is indescribable. Its more courageous than bungee jumping, being a pilot or fighting your first boxing match. Its the emotional maturity and steadfast mentality that makes Kat who she is and the Kat I know and love. Kat, I know you will be fine. I worry about you constantly, I think its okay to ask for help. While you do not agree-relying on yourself at all times-strengthens the load you take on daily. Being self reliant is another great attribute you possess, but remember calling to cry is just as healthy. Our weakest moments make us the strongest people. Take care, Love you, Brandi

2:47 PM  

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