Testing...

These are pretty amatuer recordings, but they're all I've got right now. Some recordings of me singing a little, though certainly not my best possible efforts, I suppose. Song 1:http://www.esnips.com/doc/995aaf08-3f71-418e-9969-325cc97005ae/whip-mix.mp3Song 2:http://www.esnips.com/doc/a6638f20-d044-4a62-a434-9b8bd7fbee73/dickandjane.mp3Song 3:http://www.esnips.com/doc/7dac64cb-a13d-47c9-9354-d77e908cae9d/workplay.mp3

bass blue

I posted this pic before (months ago, when it was taken), but I cropped it and messed with the colors just for fun. That's me attempting (and failing) to play a simple bass line I was shown. 

Noggin's Gone Multi-Color Again

Kat is calico again. It's been a long time (years), so it's fun to finally do again. Still the red and blonde combo, though. I love the look of red against my blonde. 

It should be raining,
Pouring over me,
Till I feel nothing else.

I should be fallen,
But I know, if I crumpled,
No one would pick me up.

I should be bound tight
In strong arms or long white sleeves
Till I am safe from myself.

So I shave my legs.
I dye and wash my hair.
I sit and stand and walk and work,

As if there is a person, here,
Operating this machine...
As if I knew what I was doing.

Looking "I" in the eye

Am I a security blanket,
Not a woman?
An excuse for a would-be martyr,
Not a love?
Am I an enabler,
Not an inspiration?

I can’t know.
I don’t read minds.
But I do know my own mind,
And know…

I am tired of loving
In exchange for being tolerated.

I, even I,
Deserve to be someone’s dream,
Not just a placekeeper,
Or to stand alone, should that never be.

So, I am groveling on my knees to God,
For the strength to stand.

Update

I guess I haven't been posting a whole lot, so here's the run down of Twisted Noggin's life:

The home: I'm still a slob, but I love my little house, and it hasn't caved in on me yet.
The zoo: Harry isn't super well behaved, maybe partly because I don't walk him enough (bad noggin), but he is my little angel and is sweet and cute and lovable and wonderful. Sheba is on my lap right now, being cute and affectionate. All is well with them, I think.
The Job: It's been REALLY busy, but things have been a bit better (except I've been late a few times, and that makes me worry like mad). People seem a bit friendlier, lately. I just hope that lasts.
The art: MAJOR painter's block. Don't know what the deal is, but I'm sure I'll shake it soon.
The Family: Got to talk to my dad today, which was great. I don't get to see him nearly enough. I had Tori over the weekend before last, and hope to have both girls over again soon (maybe this weekend?). I didn't get to go out with my sis last weekend because I was sick, but hopefully will get another chance soon.
$: I'm broke, duh. Whatd'ja expect? But I'll live.
Friends: Well, I tend to get frustrated on this level. There are many people I miss, and that gets to me sometimes. Also, the circles I am exposed to, wherever I go, sometimes aggrivate me with the cliques and all, but that is just life. That's how it goes. Still, I have Brandi, whom is absolutely awesome, and a couple friends I don't see so often. I still get to have a pint with Dave, now and then, and chat with a couple buddies via email.
The Band: Just in case I never told you guys, the band broke up. :(

All in all, things are going pretty well. I got to see a concert Monday night, and it was a blast (although I accidentally got too drunk... that's the bad part of switching from beer to vodka - harder to pace yourself)

Anyway... I hope everyone else is doing well. :) Best wishes to all of ya'll. :P

stream-of-noggin-venting

This isn't a poem or anything yet... it's just a stream that came out, as yet unrefined.

This the mess that my mother once named “Kathleen”
As if words could contain all the hell that is me
-The raging world, churning behind these blue eyes

Yes I bitch and I moan, my heart sputters and groans
I reach out, then I always just run off alone
But I’m through with hating myself just for that

If you touch me, you’ll find that I’m warm and alive
Despite all the cold metal I’ve grown to survive
Like the wolf-man, I’m hardened but never stop bleeding

I’ve no pack of my own, here, to coddle and choke me
But I’ve got two eyes, and I know just what I don’t see
People never act noble for true noble reasons

I love strangers the same as I do my own kin
Because all orphans were somebody’s children
-Don’t have to be my friend for me to be yours

I rage hard and cry harder and sometimes I break
I claw myself to shreds over every mistake
But whatever that’s made me, at least I am human

I looked hard at myself, today, in the car mirror
And found myself closer than I did appear -or
At least, things I valued were not up so far

I’m a lost one, but somehow I never lose track
The world robs, but I’m not afraid to give back
Not afraid to befriend whoever needs mending

I am hardened and crazy and tired and I’m wild
But I’m never afraid to trust like a child
If my soul on a platter is just what you’re needing

I am me – sincere, crazy and never judgmental
And I’ll stay that way; strong and naked and fragile
Because this one self, here, is all that I’ve got

might not seem like much, when you’re counting my allies
I’d rather love everyone than to close ranks and close eyes
So when left all alone, I can trust the company I keep

---

Crack open my head
And you’d hear just a scream
Crack open my chest
Where wild animals breed
And just wonder
At all I contain yet keep on breathing

Crack open my heart
I might bleed blue and black
It’s the years that have tainted me
That can never turn back
And find, there, your mark
-staying human, means taking a beating

This is not the first time the urge has hit, but I don't think I've ever felt it so strongly.

Right now, I just want to set the clippers to 1/2 an inch, and buzz my head to nothing but 1/2 inch fluff and bleach it.

But, my boyfriend would of course HATE it with a passion, and look at me like a giant freak.

I just want to buzz it all off, say "fuck you" to all humanity, and spend all my time painting alone.

I don't play well with others, I guess.

I wish I had a workshop and welding tools. I need badly to make sculpture. Big, rusty, elegant, angry, graceful, jagged, ugly, 7-foot tall sculptures.

Book Signing!

John, a truly terrific guy I know, is having his first book signing at a local book store. That is so exciting! Man, I've dreamed of having a book signing... but ya'll know me... I'l probably never finish any of the crappy novels in my head. Too many other hobbies and too much ADD and all this wanting to paint, sew, etc... etc...

Anyway, you can buy the book here

Or, you can go to Destinations Booksellers at 604 East Spring Street in New Albany on Thursday, September 7, at 7 p.m and buy a copy to have signed.

It's about Indana Governers and was cowritten with some other local writers.
Congrats to John!

He's not only a 100% good guy, through and through, he's also an intelligent and facinating fellow who works very hard (regular job, plus writing articles all the time... busy busy fellow). I met him at the local comic book shop.

Anyway... keep up the good work, John. :) See you at the signing.

Vader sessions

http://youtube.com/watch?v=6A0rwG39Jzk

If the link doesn't work, go to youtube.com and type "Vader Sessions" into the search, there.
If you are a nerd, like me, you'll dig it. Trust me. :P

Dig it, babe. Groovy Force shit, yeeeaaahhh....